Ivan Update

It's hard to even start a post about Ivan. I love my little Ivan Boy more than I can even say. But he has definitely come with his own unique package of challenges, that are so different from Lincoln's, that I feel like I'm starting all over from scratch with him. And I guess in a way I am. He's not Lincoln, and I never really expected or wanted him to be. I knew he would be his own person, and I am grateful for that. But I feel so unprepared for the curve balls he's constantly throwing at me. (I never could hit a curve ball, there's something about low and inside that I just don't compute.)

I think we're finally settling in to this milk intolerance dilemma. I have great family and friends who are very supportive and have been really helpful with substitute suggestions and milk-free recipes. We've learned that we can cook with coconut milk just fine, and we've also gotten to try a few new tasty recipes that we otherwise wouldn't have. I feel blessed that we've had so much support, and that Ivan isn't deathly allergic to milk and all it's by-products, just intolerant. If he eats something that has milk in it (and those things are sometimes really hard to spot, because they aren't obvious, such as Sun Chips and Goldfish) his nose starts to run off his face, practically, and he gets really cranky several hours afterwards, and doesn't sleep well at night. Probably because his tummy hurts. To me it's not worth it to feed him things with milk in them. But that really limits what processed foods we can buy. I can do alright if I cook things myself though, because I can substitute. I guess I should look at that as a blessing in disguise because it's healthier to make my own stuff anyway, it just takes more time, but it usually tastes better.

Ivan has always been a little bit tender-hearted. He gets upset more easily, but he also laughs genuinely (as apposed to Lincoln's fake "social" laugh) more easily. And I knew fairly early on that he was going to be my temper tantrum baby. But usually when he throws a tantrum, I can put him either in the corner or in his room until he's done throwing his fit and then he comes out and is perfectly fine to move on. My policy has always been to ignore the tantrum, put him somewhere where I don't have to listen to him scream, and then once he calms down, let him have my attention. The theory is that this will show him that throwing a tantrum doesn't get him the attention he wants, and this has been working pretty well. That is until the lawn mower showed up.

Out in back of our apartment complex there is a fenced off community play area for the kids. People leave toys and things out there, with the knowledge that if it's not locked up it's fair game for anyone to play with. A week or so ago, one of the neighbors brought out this little plastic toy lawn mower. All the kids were taken with it. Especially Ivan. He threw a knock-down-drag-out screaming fit, if any other child even looked sideways at the lawnmower. For the first three days he spent our entire outside time sitting by the fence, in time out, screaming his head off, because all the kids were taking turns with the lawn mower. I was hoping the newness would wear off, and this stage would pass.

Well, the newness has worn off for most of the other kids, they don't care so much about the lawn mower anymore. But not for Ivan. Any time I even mention that we are going outside, the first thing he does is run to the door shouting "lawn mower!". He gets to play with it most of the time we're outside because none of the other kids really want to. But occasionally one does, which is perfectly fine, it's not our lawn mower for one, and for two Ivan doesn't own a monopoly on it, he can learn to share. So I make him share. He throws a fit, EVERY time. It's not getting any better, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I feel like maybe the other moms outside think I'm being cruel for making him sit so often. But, I for sure don't want the other kids not to be able to play with it, just because Ivan freaks out. And I definitely don't want him thinking that throwing a fit is going to get him what he wants.

Anyways, I'm not sure what to do with this kid. He can be such a sweetheart. He gives the best snuggles, and the best hugs and kisses. He has such a silly personality and he loves to tease and be playful. I can't wait until he starts talking, because I think he's going to be hilarious...he already is just in the way he communicates what he wants.

And I feel bad, because I feel like a lot of the time he gets left out. Lincoln gets a lot of attention because he can demand it, and because he's always doing new things. And Adelia gets a lot of attention because she demands it, and because she's the baby and the girl. But Ivan doesn't really demand attention, he plays really well by himself, and is happy to do so. I don't know, maybe I'm over analyzing it. But those are my thoughts. And I'm at kind of a loss as to where to go from here.