Unfortunately, what I'm hungry for is a little bit harder to grab than a Snickers. I want a house. I want a house so bad I can taste it. Also unfortunate is that no one is handing out free houses. For the last month or so, I've been looking at the situation from every angle I can think of, and I cannot find a way to get us a house in the near, or even not so near future.
Problem #1 We are still in our lease for renting this place until the end of March. Don't get me wrong, I love the twin home we live in now. The owners took great care of it while they lived here, and put a lot of work into the inside and the outside. I love the neighborhood and the ward and the area. But something inside of me desperately longs to OWN my own home, not just rent someone else's. And the owners made it very clear when we moved in that this was their home, we were just renting it. I want to be able to paint walls, own a pet, plant a tree, do some landscaping, redecorate, tile the bathroom, etc. without having to ask permission.
Problem #2 The down payment. We don't have one. And, budget as I might, I cannot see how we will possibly obtain a decent sized one in the next lifetime. We don't have that much debt. We put Aaron all the way through his bachelor's degree without any debt. But we did have to take out some student loans for Grad school, which we will have to begin paying back here shortly. We also have a payment on the van, but it's half paid off already. We put 10% of every paycheck away for savings, and I think we can up it to 20%, but even with that, it's going to take a long time to save a down payment. I've considered selling the van, but we need it. I've considered selling a child, but I don't think that's legal. I'm not allowed to donate plasma. I refuse to consider joining a "tree structure" business. I don't have the time nor the talent to make and sell anything. None of our furniture is worth anything, so having a garage sale is pointless. Aaron doesn't want to work extra hours (I don't blame him). And I'm running out of ideas.
Problem #3 The size of the house and lot. We already have 3 kids, and it's likely that we'll get around to getting pregnant with our fourth some time next year. If we're going to buy, we want to buy something that will give us a little bit of growing room, so we don't have to move again in 3 years. So let's face it, by the time we put all that together, we're not really talking about buying the typical three bedroom starter home. I should probably also mention that I'm one of those crazy people who believe children should play outside. I also want chickens, a good sized garden, and some fruit trees. None of those things are going to happen on .15 acres, or whatever the standard tiny lot size is. My ideal sized lot is 1 acre, but for a first home, I'm willing to go down to 0.3 acres, maybe 0.25 if I really like the house. But that's not really helping me out in the budget department.
Problem #4 Aaron is not as house hungry as I am. In fact, I doubt that you could even use the word "hungry" at all, when describing Aaron's feelings about getting a house. He's been nice enough to talk with me about it, and even driven by a few with me. I think mostly because, in theory, a mortgage payment is less than the rent we're currently paying. (If you don't count the down payment, closing costs, home owners insurance, etc.) But he definitely doesn't have buying a house on the brain, the way I seem to.
So I've come to the conclusion (maybe a bit melodramatically) that we will never be able to buy a house. I'm a little bit bitter about it. When we'd been married a little over a year, we got some inheritance money from my dad. It was a decent chunk. I wish we would have saved it for a down payment like we'd originally planned. Instead, we paid tuition. And while I can look at it and say that realistically it's probably better that we paid tuition and stayed out of debt, the very selfish side of me says that a house is a lot more tangible than an education, and we could be living in a house while paying off the student loan debt. I know, I'm horrible. But everyone thinks things like that, I'm just saying them.
I guess the most frustrating part is that I don't feel like I have any way to do anything about it. I don't have a job, so I'm not making any money to put towards a house. And even if I went out to get a job, I don't have a degree, so any job I got would only pay enough to cover the cost of sending my three children to daycare. And since I don't really want my children in daycare anyway, that doesn't seem like a helpful option. I can do my best to budget, but there's no way around the fact that we have to eat, and that all of my kids need winter clothes and shoes and coats this season, and we have to heat our house and drive our car around.
I'm whining. Does it feel like I'm whining? I am. I'm sorry. But not that sorry, because this is my blog and I can do whatever I want on it, even whine. So there you go. I want a house and I can't have one, so I think I'll go eat worms.
8 comments:
I so know what you mean. This is our first house. It just took us a bachelors, a masters, most of a phd, 6 kids, and 11 years before we got one. And honestly, it was a complete miracle because we couldn't have gotten here on our own.
Now i'm frustrated because I don't have money to do anything with the house! :) Always some reason to struggle with gratitude. I'm trying to find a balance between being grateful for where we are, and figuring out how to dream in this economy too. Love-Jen P.
The funny thing is that having a "starter" home with 6 soon to be 7 kids is a bit backward. It's only been a year and I'm already itching for the bigger kitchen, and a place for big garden, chickens and fruit trees.
I understand the frustration of trying to eeck out a little more in order to progress financially. It's hard to have enough but not get anywhere like saving up to repair the roof, or the fence, or even pay off the school loan!
I guess I should have emailed this all to you. :0 Love ya, commiserate, don't lose hope. Like I said our down payment was a miracle. LIterally. Maybe yours will be too. Jen P.
I hear ya. I think it will happen sooner than you think, things have a way of working out:) I do have to disagree with your statement of not having the talent to make and sell stuff, I think you're incredibly crafty and talented, but I understand the lack of time bit. I'd be willing to pay to rent your kids, I'll tell Kelly we can justifiably put it under "entertainment" in the budget, since your kids are so fun and cute:)
I am so in the same spot as you are right now and I am frustrated and staring to panic. I realized that after November I only have 4 years before Im 30 to get out of debt find a house or even a decent appartment and be able adopt a child. Its not very long and well just to adopt will take years by its self and in order to do that I have to be out of debt and have a place to live and becasue of my stupid heart we will always have medical debt. Im trying to find a a second job and like you without a degree there is much option that will do anything other then just cover my gas getting there. The down payment on the house I totally understand that is what is keeping us out of a house as well. Gotta love life. Tell Aaron congrats on graduating
It's like you typed out my thoughts! I've been racking my brain trying to figure out how to earn money for a couple big ticket items, and I just can't figure anything out! It's so frustrating to feel helpless, and hopeless. I've never understood how you can save money for a down payment WHILE paying rent. So, yeah. Totally feel for you there.
Ha, it seems you are not the only one! I could copy and paste this on my blog. I was just telling David that we have been married for 8 years now and it's a bit ridiculous that we've never bought a home. I want a backyard for my kids to play in! I want the fruit trees and chickens and enough bedrooms for everyone and a kitchen big enough for more than one person to be in! I get it!
I think, though, that the key is trust. We are the same as you- no undergrad loan, but grad loan. If we didn't have that loan, we would totally be set. But if we didn't have that loan, David would be way farther down the ladder and we'd be making a lot less with no way to advance.
I think it's one of those things that we'll be glad we did down the road, just like being a stay at home mom. We make sacrifices for the things that are MOST important- being the one to raise our children, giving our husbands the opportunity to fulfill their divine callings and provide for our families. A nice house with a big yard is important, but not as much as those other things. And I hope that by not having those things right away, I can show my kids what really is most important to me- them. And maybe they'll even learn some principles about hard work and patience and tender mercies along the way. At least, I tell myself they might. :0)
Thanks for this post, and for letting me remind myself why I keep hoping. You and I can be "homeless buddies". My previous one just bought a house and I've been feeling all alone the last few days!
P.S. I forgot to add the reason I think it's about trust- not just trusting that we've made the better decisions, but trusting that Heavenly Father knows our needs and our desires, and He will help us work towards them. We have to be willing to work and plan and wait, but He will help us do it the best way- even if that's the long way. K I'm done preaching now. :0)
I understand this completely. I swear that this apartment gets just a little bit smaller every day. It's getting harder and harder to be here, but without a clear plan for the future after Phil get out of school, I don't have a clue about how long we will be stuck here.
On a side note... I'm sure Phil would be willing to run some financial numbers for you so you know just how much you need to be saving, as well as the options that are available to you. He's really good at giving advice.
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