Lincoln Liners Return

I used to do a monthly post of all the funny things my kids said. I have been REALLY bad at that since Adelia was born. But a while ago, I started making notes on my phone when the kids said funny things. It is now time to take them off my phone and put them here.

Lincoln Liners
"Keep a look-out for his (Aaron's) handsome head in his coat."

"We like to watch Magic School Bus, but sometimes you tell us we can't because the Spirit tells you that we've already watched too many Magic School Buses, right? But we don't always listen to the Spirit, so you could let us watch more."

"Ivan, don't you wish you were born first? Then you'd be older than me."

L: "What was that?"
Me: "I just dropped the dust pan."
L: "Oh, it startled me."

"I will show Daddy my new sandals, it will surprise him right out of his socks!"

L: "Mom, can you get sick after you're resurrected?"
Me: "Nope. When we get resurrected our bodies will be perfect, so they won't get sick or hurt."
L: "So no blood can come out?"
Me: "Nope."
L: "Cool! Then we can poke each other with knives!"

"Mom, are we going to discuss the plan?"

Speaking about the space in-between his and Ivan's car seats, "This would be a good spot for a thin guy."

"Mom, I think the bread should wear bread-screen in case it falls into the toaster on accident, then it won't get burned."

L: "Mom, I need a new band-aide, my old one isn't working anymore."
Me: "It looks like your owie stopped bleeding, you probably don't need another band-aide on it."
L: "But it's still hurting."
Me: "Band-aides won't stop it from hurting."
L: "I know, but I just don't want anyone to be able to see my hurting spot."

Aaron: "Linc, what did you learn about during school today?"
L: "Well there was this king and he wanted the people to pay money to make drink. And the people didn't like it. And then the king got angry and sent soldiers. So the people and the soldiers were fighting. And then the soldiers left. And that's why we have Firework Day."

"That guy has a very sharp knife. Never, never buy one of those, ok Ivan? Remember that when you're a parent."

"Hey Mom, do you know what's happening to my heat? It's wiggling away from me and out into the air."

"Gingamore means they know how to take care of a good house."

"Mommy, *long, deep sigh* I wish we had an ant-eater."

I: "I have a little (imaginary) mouse in my hand!"
L: "I killed your mouse."
I: "wahhhhaaaaa! *Sniff, sniff* Well, now I have a new nice mouse in my hand."
L: "I killed that mouse too."
I: "Waaaaahhhhhhaaaaaaa!"
Me: "Lincoln, that's not nice. I don't want to hear you say the word kill again."
L: "But I can say killer whale, because there's a whale on the end. Killer whale! Killer whale! Killer whale!"

Linc: "Did Ivan poop in the potty?"
Me: "No."
Linc: "Then why did he say that he did?"
Me: "He wasn't telling me the truth."
Linc: "Hmmm, that's unwise."

"Mom Adam had to eat the fruit of good and evil, otherwise we couldn't be here making Valentines."


Ivan-isms
"Mom, did you know? I'm the fastest swimmer in the whole world."

"I am the hungriest man in the whole world!"

Watching indoor volleyball during the Olympics, I: "Mom is that the coach?"
Me: "Yes."
I: "But why doesn't he grow any hair on the back of his head?"

L: "Mom, how many days until Christmas?"
I: "I know! We had a chain at my preschool and we counted all the way up to some number, and that's how many days 'til Christmas."

"I can say the 4th article of faith...We believe that god must be punished for all our sins and not for Adam's transgression."

"Mom, I'm letting it snow, but it's not snowing!"

"Please bless our car that it will not get a flat tire when we drive on the bumpy road."

"I don't want to wear that shirt! It makes me poop."

"Mom, super heroes always kiss their mother before they go to bed. But bad guys never do."

Ivan ran into my bedroom to use the bathroom during quiet time. When he finished, he ran back to his bedroom and called to me, "Have a good quiet time Mom!"

"Mom, do you know what we're rich of?!....Straws!!"

Adelia's Additions
Aaron shut the car door kind of hard and it made the van shake a little, Adelia said, "ooohhhhh bibrations! (vibrations)"

Aaron: "Adelia, you need to get off my throat."
Adelia: "Hu? I want to snuggle your throat."

Adelia: "Your a good girl Dad. *Pause* Your a good boy Dad."
Aaron: "Your a good girl, Del."
Adelia: "Exactly."

"Do you want to see what's in my shirt?....An octopus!"

"Daddy, my little piggy toes haven't seen you for awhile."

"Mom, he fell off! He fell off normally Mama."

"I'm not a party. I'm Adelia!"

"Um, Dad? I'm kind of good. Dad, I know everything."

"I miss playing with my brothers...but they called me a Indian. I wasn't. I was just running."

"Mom, my body doesn't feel good because it has lots of ouch on it."

"I've been a baby long ago."

"My owies are getting owier."