Lincoln Liners January

Me: "Linc what did you learn about in Sunbeams today?"
L: "Well, there's three guys, Jesus, Heaven, and some other guy."

"I just very love ya."

L: "Mom, I just lasered the aligator."
Me: "Oh, so we're all safe now?"
L: "Yup, just don't touch it. It got died. Now I just need to cook it up with this string."

A: "Linc, where does milk come from?"
L: "Chickens!"
A: "Nope. Try again."
Pausing to think really hard, L: "How 'bout hamsters!"

Me: "Come here Linc, lets do your hair for church."
L: "No, I don't want to do my hair for church!"
Me: "C'mon, don't you want to be handsome like Daddy."
L: "No! Don't do my hair curly, I don't want Jell-o in my hair!" (he meant gel)

"This is a big tunnel and this is a lower case tunnel."

At the baby blessing at church, L: "Look Mom! It's baby Jesus!"

Upon discovering a box a recently purchased tampons, L: "Mom, look! Popcicles! Can I have one?"

"Look! The apple's getting out of my mouth and going into my leg." (Meaning he'd chewed up his apple and swallowed it.)

After morning prayers, Me: "Linc can I have a lovey?"
L: "Do I have a skateboard?"

"Mom! There's Mickey Mouse in your hair!"

"I've got to go potty really quick you little pirate."

"I drank the water (in the bathtub), now I've got a germ in me."

"My hand is huge to take a lot." (Meaning, because his hand is big he can take a lot of M&Ms.)

"I don't wanna be no handsome!"

To Ivan, who had a pen lid in his mouth, L: "Ivan, that doesn't look very tasty."

L: "Mom, I don't like you anymore, you're fired."
Me: "I'm fired? Oh no. Who will read you stories and make you dinner?"
L: "Daddy."
Me: "Daddy has to go to work."
L: "Oh, ok. You're not fired."

Me: "Buzz (that's Lincoln's alter ego), what's your sister's name?"
L: "I don't have one."
Me: "You don't? What about Adelia?"
L: "She's not here. She's just at Grandma's." (She wasn't, she was crying in the next room.)

Me: "Linc, what do you want to do today?"
L after a long thoughtful pause: "Today I am going to fly. Wanna see?"

"Dad, I fired you. You're growing into a marshmallow."

A: "Lincoln where do eggs come from?"
L: "From the store!"
A: "Yes, but where does the store get them from?"
L: "Well, they're laying all around on the ground, and then we come and grab 'em up!"

Showing me a picture of a baby rabbit, L: "Mom, do you see this little boy? He's crying."
Me: "Why is he crying?"
L: "He's sad."
Me: "Why is he sad?"
L: "His mom maked him sad."
Me: "Oh really? Well how can he get happy again?"
L: "He would have to come out of his room."
Me: "Oh, why was he in his room?"
L: "He wasn't very nice to his mommy and daddy, so he had to go in his room, and he was sad. But, he can be nice, then he can come out!"

"Ivan's not a baby, he's my brother now."