My Letter

November 20, today, is/was my dad's birthday. He would have been 57.

I was looking through some old scrapbooks, looking for a picture of my Dad. Instead I found a gray 3 ring binder that I had put together when I was in high school, right after my dad died. Inside it, I had put all his church talks, which I'd found on our home computer and printed out. Some of the talks tell stories from his life, in others he bares testimony. Also in the binder I'd included my dad's obituary, and a letter he wrote to me shortly after he found out he had cancer. It's been years since I flipped through the binder, years since I've read his letter to me. When he wrote me the letter I was probably 14, or 15. He died when I was 16.

I wonder what he would say to me now, if he could write me a letter as an adult? I wonder what he thinks about how life is going for me these days. I wonder how he and Aaron would've gotten on together as in-laws. I wonder what he thinks about my kids. I like to imagine him up there picking out the best ones to send down to me. I'd like to think that he checks in on us from time to time.

Here's the letter:

Krystal,

I just wanted to take a minute to tell you what a good kid you are and how much I love you.

The Church used to have a Public Service video called "Julie Through the Glass", it was about a dad looking at his new-born daughter through the window in the hospital and then, reflected in the glass, he sees her growing up and all the significant events in their lives together until she's married and has her own daughter who he watches through the glass at the hospital...That video came out right after you were born. It made me cry when I watched it, heck, I'm crying right now thinking about it. Krystal, I am so proud of you. I love you more than I know how to express. I keep thinking I should give you all this advice about life and stuff to try to help you deal with the tough times in your life, but you know honey, it occurs to me that you already have the tools to deal with anything that comes along. You're so far ahead of where I was at your age. If things work out, I look forward to watching your wonderful life unfold. I can't wait to see your kids. How lucky they'll be to have you for a mom. it's funny. At times like these I realize that you and your brothers, and mom, of course, are so much more important than business or church or anything. I cherish the memories of the times we've spent together, reading or shopping, or discussing current events. I love every second I've spent at softball games, recitals, programs, luncheons, etc. I love you Krystal. Thank you for being the great blessing in my life that you are.

Sorry, I can't help myself, what would a letter from Dad be without advice in it? Here goes:

Krystal, pursue your dreams. You have it in you to make of this life whatever you want. Don't let the world try to convince you otherwise. Be firm in the knowledge that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Know whatever happens I'll be watching. My love for you and your brothers knows no bounds.

Love always,

Dad