Friday, October 21, 2011

Stress, What I Would Change About Myself, and Rice Pudding

Last night I hosted a Mom's Night Out for our homeschool group. We have them once a month, and take turns having it at different people's houses. Usually there is some kind of learning of a skill involved. For example, I've attended one on couponing/money saving ideas and one on books, where the woman presenting taught us about different resources that are out there for finding the books your looking at using in your curriculum, how to find them cheaply, and how to pick books for different age/reading levels of kids. Both were awesome. Last night I presented on crock pot cooking.

I was majorly stressed out, and my husband could not for the life of him fathom why. "Isn't it just a bunch of ladies getting together to socialize?", he asked me. Yes. It is in deed that. But these aren't just any ladies. If I had invited over a group of good friends who I've known for a long time, I would not have been stressed. It wouldn't have mattered if there were a few hand prints on the bathroom mirror, or a couple dirty dishes in the sink, or if my desk was a little bit untidy. My good friends, I know, would already know that I do my best and would like me anyway. But I don't know the ladies in my homeschool group that well yet. Not that I think they're the judging type, but I just can't "let go" with them yet, I guess, because I don't feel like I know them well enough.

Maybe I should back track and explain a little bit about me first. I am not a person who likes to be out of my comfort zone, especially socially. I'm introverted, which means, that even though I like being in social situations, I prefer to hang back and watch, until I feel really comfortable, before joining in, or putting myself out there. (People always ask the difference between introverts and extroverts, so I've included the chart below.) I'm very new in our homeschooling group, and also pretty new to homeschooling. So I don't really feel like I have any idea what I'm doing yet. I feel like everyone in the group has way more experience than I do. Even though I'm beginning to feel like I know some of the people, I haven't made any really close friends yet, and I do a LOT more listening and taking frantic mental notes, then I do talking.  And basically, I idolize the women in our group. As a whole, they are all of the things I want to be as a homeschool mom.


Introvert Extrovert
Interacting with others drains energy Interacting with others increases energy
Prefers thoughts and ideas over people and things Prefers people and things over thoughts and ideas
Needs a quiet time to recharge Needs external stimulation to recharge
Thinks things through before speaking Speaks before thinking
Likes to know a lot about a few subjects Likes to know a little about a lot of subjects
Has a few, very close friends Knows lots of people and considers them all friends.
Absorb, reflect and expand on what they learn Files what they learn and move on
Prefers doing things by themselves Prefers doing things with others
Listens more than speaks Talks more than listens
Appears calm, reserved, aloof Appears peppy, energetic, involved
Will speak extensively only on a subject that they know well Will speak extensively whether they know the subject or not
Sometimes will have their mind go blank when asked to speak, specially under pressure Have no trouble coming up with words
Speak slowly or hesitantly trying not to speak until the thought is fully formed and validated Speak quickly or talk through their thoughts out loud
Get lost and disorientated in the mist of multiple conversations, like at a party Get energized in the midst of multiple simultaneous conversations
Sometimes are accused of being a 'party-pooper' Are often a party organizer
Withdraw during extreme stress Get agitated and seek out others during extreme stress


 So back to my stressing out. Not only am I inviting a large group of women over to my house who I don't know very well, but they are also my role models. AND on top of that, I, in my ignorant state, am attempting to try to teach them something that I don't know very much about in the first place. And did I mention my 3 children and how it is practically impossible to get my house clean all at the same time? And how, since I was teaching about crock pot cooking, I was frantically trying to cook as many things in the crock pot as possible, so that there would be a good variety of things to sample?

My husband did not understand. I should have had him try to imagine that he was having his boss, or someone who was very proficient in his field of work, over to our house for dinner so that he could tell them about his latest research, or something along those lines. How would he want the house to look then? What would he want me to be doing with the kids during that time? But I didn't think of it until the middle of the night when I was supposed to be sleeping.

In the end it turned out fine. The ladies didn't really want to talk about the crock pot anyway, they wanted to discuss pressure cookers, something I know absolutely nothing about. But luckily, one of the ladies there did. I gave a small, mostly boring spiel on the crock pot. (In my head it was going to be so good too. I'd put in funny parts, a few personal stories, etc. But then I froze up, especially when I felt like no one was really all that interested in the crock pot. If I could have presented it the way I practiced in my head, they might have developed an interest, but I choked!) And then we got to eat and socialize to our hearts content. I took lots of great mental notes on what I want my future homeschool to be like. And I laughed a lot at the funny stories people told about their adventures with their kids.

Mostly, I sit back and wonder if there will ever be a time when I don't feel like I'm on the outskirts of the group. I wonder if I'll ever be able to chime in on conversations about curriculum, and philosophies, and new ideas. I wonder who -if any- of these women will eventually become my real friends. Don't get me wrong, everyone is super friendly and really nice, but I wonder if that will ever develop into a good enough friendship where I would feel comfortable calling one of them with a question, or letting them see my house in its true, very messy, state, or sharing with them my concerns about what my kids or myself are struggling with. For me, having that kind of a relationship takes time. Lots of time.

And I think this aspect about myself is silly. I wish I could be more open in a group of people. I wish I could speak my mind better, and not be afraid of it. I've never been good at small talk, starting conversations with strangers, or putting people at ease. I hate this about me.

But...one positive thing I got out of preparing for the crock pot class, was this AWESOME slow cooker rice pudding recipe. I love rice pudding, and this was so easy and SO SO GOOD.


Slow Cooker Rice Pudding
8 cups milk (I used half soy milk, and half fat free cow's)
1 cup long grain white rice
1 cup sugar

then:
1/4 cup heavy cream or half and half
3 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt

The Directions.

I used a 4 quart slow cooker. Spray the stoneware insert with cooking spray, then combine the milk, rice, and sugar. Stir well and cook on low for 4-6 hours, or high for about 4. It took longer than I expected for my rice to become bite-tender---I did low for 3 hours, then high for another 2.

When the rice is tender, mix in a large mixing bowl, the eggs, cream, vanilla, cinnamon, and salt. Scoop a 1/2 cup of the hot rice mixture into the mixing bowl and whisk. Keep adding 1/2 cup at a time of the rice and milk mixture into the egg bowl until about half of the milk and rice mixture is gone from the slow cooker. Then pour everything back into the pot. Stir well. This is called "tempering your eggs"---you have to do this step, or your eggs will scramble on you when you add them to the crock.

Cover and cook on high for 1 hour. Stir well, then take the lid off of the cooker and unplug it. When the rice pudding is room temperature, you can refrigerate it. Some people like their pudding hot or warm, and some prefer it chilled----it's completely up to you.

4 comments:

Leslie Elaine said...

Ah Krystal, I am just like you-introvert, like to hang in the background but kind of be with people. Its funny, I always complain to Evan that I don't have friends to hang out with but once, someone wants to hang out, I almost dread it and try to get out of it. Almost. So who knows, I guess I'm just a loner or super introvert.

I'll have to try your rice pudding recipe! I really need to use the crock pot more.

Ashley said...

It was funny reading that list- I think there was only one or two things on the extrovert side I would agree with for myself. The rest were all introvert. After living in Colorado for over three years, I just barely feel like I'm part of a group, but even when we all get together, I'm the one with my mouth shut the whole time. I still think I should move by you and we could be friends.

lisa said...

I'm totally laughing right now, one because I know exactly how you feel about being "new" and two because you are a totally awesome homeschool mom and you are being silly for feeling like you don't have anything to contribute.

Melissa Noonchester Swan said...

Krystal! I loved this post! It was really honest and heart-felt, and I have definitely felt the same as you have in this situation. And I really really hate it when I come up with a good rebuttal after its wayyyyy too late, haha.