Book Review: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

by Amy Chua

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

An awe-inspiring, often hilarious, and unerringly honest story of one mother's exercise in extreme parenting, revealing the rewards-and the costs-of raising her children the Chinese way.

All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. What Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother reveals is that the Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that. Western parents try to respect their children's individuality, encouraging them to pursue their true passions and providing a nurturing environment. The Chinese believe that the best way to protect your children is by preparing them for the future and arming them with skills, strong work habits, and inner confidence. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother chronicles Chua's iron-willed decision to raise her daughters, Sophia and Lulu, her way-the Chinese way-and the remarkable results her choice inspires.

Here are some things Amy Chua would never allow her daughters to do:
-have a playdate
-be in a school play
-complain about not being in a school play
-not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama
-play any instrument other than the piano or violi
-not play the piano or violin

The truth is Lulu and Sophia would never have had time for a playdate. They were too busy practicing their instruments (two to three hours a day and double sessions on the weekend) and perfecting their Mandarin.

Of course no one is perfect, including Chua herself. Witness this scene:

"According to Sophia, here are three things I actually said to her at the piano as I supervised her practicing:

1. Oh my God, you're just getting worse and worse.
2. I'm going to count to three, then I want musicality.
3. If the next time's not PERFECT, I'm going to take all your stuffed animals and burn them!"

But Chua demands as much of herself as she does of her daughters. And in her sacrifices-the exacting attention spent studying her daughters' performances, the office hours lost shuttling the girls to lessons-the depth of her love for her children becomes clear. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is an eye-opening exploration of the differences in Eastern and Western parenting- and the lessons parents and children everywhere teach one another.

This book was a super fast read, like two sittings, for me. It's not that its suspenseful or anything, but just really interesting. I had no idea that parenting styles were so different in different parts of the world. And although to my western way of thinking, some of her techniques seem pretty harsh, I tried to keep in mind that her end goal and my end goal are the same thing in the long run. I tried not to judge, but instead put myself in Amy's mind set, and I'll admit, it was hard.

But what I really loved about this book was the end, where keeping her daughter close to the family was more important than any other belief in parenting, even though it meant giving up a lot on Amy's part. I like that one parenting style worked for one daughter. And I like that Lulu still benefited from aspects of her Chinese upbringing (like her work ethic in playing tennis), even though she needed to do it her own way. I think it would be interesting to see how Sophia and Lulu choose to raise their kids.

I guess my opinion at the end is that the world would benefit from throwing eastern parenting and western parenting in a bag and mixing them up a bit and seeing what happened :) 

This book would make an awesome book club discussion book. I loved it, and recommend it to everyone.