The Kid Cycle

Isn't it funny how our kids go through cycles of causing us stress? Last night was the first night in about a month (it felt like, I'm sure it couldn't have really been that long) that Aaron and I had an evening where all the kids went to sleep when we put them to bed, and neither of us had anything pressing to do, so we got to just sit down and talk. I love nights like that. :)

Anyways, I was telling him some of the things I'm concerned about with our kids, and something I said was, "You wanna know who I haven't stressed out about, or felt like I didn't know what to do with, or how to help recently? Adelia. Wow! I think I've been stressing about her since her birth, and this week I haven't even thought of her. (Not that I haven't thought about her, of course I have, but not in an at-my-wits-end kind of a way.)"

I know this picture is blurry, but I want you to note the curls above her ears and the one on top of her head (yes she looks kind of Cindy Lou Hoo-ish), there are more all over the back of her head. That means there's hope for her hair still.

Someone I have been stressing about however, is this adorable little one, right here:

His nose has been running non-stop for a couple weeks. And he has been cranky, and not sleeping very well at all. He's also not been eating much. Our whole family got colds the last week in April, but everyone's cleared up except for Ivan's. I don't know if something is going on with his milk allergy, or if he has seasonal allergies, or if it's because he hasn't been sleeping well. We (and by we, I mean Aaron) took away his binkie last week. It's not going well. He takes naps ok in the day, but at night we put him to bed at 7:30, which is normal bedtime, and then he's awake, either crying, or yelling, or playing until somewhere around 10pm he crashes. But he doesn't sleep longer in the mornings. So I don't know if the lack of sleep is making him stay sick and not want to eat, or if because he's sick, he won't eat and he can't sleep, or if it's something he's eating that I'm not aware of that he's allergic to, or what.

After doing a lot of thinking about it, I've come to the conclusion that Ivan's bink is his source of comfort, a feeling of safety for him, and a way that he uses to relax his body at night to be able to sleep. Since we took that away, he feels at a lost for comfort, safety, and relaxation, and that's why he cries, or tries to avoid going to sleep. That's why we can't bribe him with getting a treat in the morning, because although he likes getting treats, the knowledge that he'll get one still doesn't provide those things that the bink used to. That's why he's fine when Aaron or I are in the room, because we also provide a sense of comfort, safety, and realization for him, but as soon as we leave, it's gone again. Since we took the binkie away, we need to come up with a way to replace it, or at least the feelings it creates in Ivan.

I was at a loss, for a lot of nights. The only thing I could think of to do was to rock him, or stay and sing to him until he fell asleep. It was stressing me out. Then Sunday night, at about 10:30pm, while I was at my wits end, and trying not to be frustrated and angry, I suddenly had a thought that the blanket I was attached to as a kid was in a rubbermade box in our garage. I had seen it the other day when I was looking for something else. I thought to give it a try. I asked Ivan if he would like to have a very special blanket to replace his bink. He said yes. I went and got it. It's very silky and soft. I wrapped it around him and rubbed the soft corner on his face. I even told him that when I was little, I used to suck on the corners, and that he could do that if he wanted to. After singing him one more song, he went to sleep without anymore complaint. Last night, same thing, I made a big deal about his special blanket. We put him to bed at bedtime, and didn't hear another thing. I'm trying not to cross my fingers that this is solved, but it would be really nice. 

He still isn't eating much, and his nose is still running, and he's still cranky, but maybe if we can get a little more sleep in his system, those things will start to clear up. I surely hope so. 

As I was bouncing all these thoughts off of Aaron last night, and telling him that I didn't know what else to do. He suggested that we start up our green shakes again. During the middle of winter, I stopped doing them, because it was making me cold to drink a smoothie for lunch. But, those shakes were a really good source of nutrients for all of us, but for Ivan especially. AND the shakes are something that he usually likes. So we're going to get those going again. I hope it helps.