Define Success, if you don't mind......

I guess I just want everyone to love Julie Bogart as much as I do. She makes me think.

So a couple weeks ago, I posted her article called "Prophecies of Doom". And this video clip is her reading it out loud and then discussing it. And I was so stimulated by what she had to say at the end.

Our goal with homeschooling is to raise successful adults, right? But what does that even mean?

How do you define a "successful adult"? Go ahead, list off your requirements. "My child will be a successful adult if".....what?
-They graduate from collage?
-They get an amazing, well-paying job that they love?
-They can support a family?
-They stay out of debt?
-They travel the world?
-They have skills that allow them to serve others?
-They become parents?
-They have a healthy, active life-style?

And I guess that begs the question: Am I a "successful adult"?

I do not have a collage degree. I can't remember how to do 5th grade level math. I don't play a musical instrument. I earn ZERO dollars a year. I only speak English. I cannot cook a dinner that pleases the eight people I live with simultaneously. I had to look up how to spell 'simultaneously'. And I haven't traveled outside the US since I was in 4th grade.

If any of my kids grow up to be just like me, will I think they are failures? Will I think that they failed me; or perhaps will I think I failed them?

Or maybe nobody is failing.

I don't feel like a complete failure...

My dad must have told me a bajillion times, to finish collage before I got married; or, in the very least, if I had to get married, to put off having kids until I had a degree. And on top of that, he always told me that if I wanted to be a success I really should go into the field of architectural engineering, because that's where the money was going to be. But if I decided not to be an engineer, than I should for sure be a lawyer. And then I should work so hard and so smart, that I became the best in my field. So good, that I would be in such high demand that I could work for myself, set my own hours, and run my business from home while being a wife and stay-at-home mom. ***

My mom thinks I have too many kids, and that they are spaced too closely together. When I told her I was pregnant with baby #6, the response I got was a stunned silence, followed by a "So....was this on purpose?" She doesn't think I should homeschool, and asks me every year if this is the year I'm going to put my kids in school, and if not this year, then surely for high school, right? ***

Basically, I've done very little along the lines of "turning out" how my parents envisioned me turning out.  And it's not even that the things my parents dreamed up for me are bad. They aren't! They wanted good things for me, they wanted me to be happy. The same as I want good things for my own kids, and I want my own kids to be happy. And it's not even that my parents think I turned out bad. I think, at least I hope they think, that I've done well. I hope that they consider me to be a 'successful adult' even if I succeeded differently than they thought I should. 

Which brings me around full-circle.....

What is a "successful adult"? I'm sure I don't know; or at least, I believe the answer varies.....but I sure do spend an awful lot of time fretting about how my kids won't be one if they never learn xy or z.

And I need to stop.

I need to trust more, that my kids were given the gifts they need to fulfill their life's mission. And that their life's mission doesn't require mastery of ALL skills. Don't the tools we need to succeed differ slightly depending on what it is we're trying to accomplish? And do we really KNOW what our children's life missions are? Maybe it doesn't include an in-depth understanding of ______ (insert any subject or skill set in the world here), OR maybe it hinges on it. It'll be different for every person.

I am feeling this need to spend my time with them differently. I do some things well. But other things I try to force....or I get impatient. Or I forget why we started learning it in the first place.

We just finished listening to "The Red Pencil" and in that story the main character plays a game with her father called "What else is possible?" They come up with a scenario, and instead of jumping to negative conclusions, they continue to ask "What else is possible?" To expand their view of a situation, or practice thinking outside the box. I need to start asking that to myself with our schooling. "This is one way to do school work, but what else is possible? How can I broaden, or reshape a certain subject or topic? How can I come at it from another direction?"

Anyways, quite a lot of thoughts spilling out here, but not a lot of answers. Just a rumbling ramble, today I guess. Listen to Julie's podcast if you get a chance. What do you think of her philosophy? Does any of it resonate deeply in your soul? She definitely has the advantage of hindsight, since all five of her kids are homeschool graduates, who are "successful adults" off having amazing adventures. Maybe some day I'll be able to look back too, and see that we mostly headed in the right direction, and were able to course-correct when we wandered off too far. It's hard to tell right now, in the thick of it all.

*** I need to note that both of my parents are wonderful amazing people who I love dearly. They helped me be who I am today in many, many ways. I used the examples above not because I think they are bad parents, I don't think that at all. I used the examples above to show that kids have ideas and inspirations of their own, that might go against the best intentions of the parents AND THAT'S OK.