I'm Going to Run Away

I seriously need a girls' weekend away somewhere...anyone want to plan one? I've been feeling a lot boxed in. Maybe it's too much going on, too many time commitments, too much on my social calendar, or something. Maybe I feel boxed in because everywhere I go, my darling children come too. That must be it. They need to learn how to mind, or even listen, or at least, if they can't listen, just acknowledge the fact that I have spoken sometimes. I swear I walk around the house all day sounding like a raving lunatic and repeating myself over and over and over and over and over. I feel like I have no control. And motherhood seriously requires too much energy most days. I had a fun day planned today. Some great active/outside school activities, a bike ride, an art project, sitting and reading quietly together....and nada. Not a one of those things was done happily by my children. They whined, cried, and complained about EVERYTHING we did today. But I couldn't let them just have free play time, because they kept fighting and making each other cry. I should have duct taped them all to the ceiling and read my book. 

By the time bed time comes around I've pretty much had it. Aaron keeps reminding me to be nice to them, and I swear if I have to hear it one more time I might throw something at him. A gal can only take so much in a 24 hour period. Why can't they be nice to me once in awhile? Why do I have to beg and threaten and bribe and cheat my way through the entire bedtime process every single night? Why can't everyone just calmly get their pajamas on when asked, and brush their teeth without getting water all over the bathroom? Why can't we just pick a freaking story and have everyone hold still and listen while we read it? Why can't we all just agree on the song we want to sing? And why can't they just lie down and be quiet and go to sleep when they're supposed to? They are exhausted. I know they are, they've been cranky all day. But oh, no...they'll be up laughing and rough housing and playing in their room until I go to bed. And they'll be up early in the morning and crabby as ever.

And so I want to run away. Not permanently, just for a little while. Take a breather and a shower without being interrupted. Avoid any kind of activity that might lead to having more children. Oh, and an uninterrupted adult conversation would be nice as well. It's website season again, so I keep company with people under 4 during the day, and books at night. Sometimes I wonder if I could even have an intelligent conversation if the opportunity presented itself. I'm so out of practice. And I seem to be incapable of a complete audible thought.

That's how I know I'm getting dumber. Or maybe I'm just too tired to care. I don't know. But I do know, that if this head cold/allergies doesn't go away and let me breath, I might hurt someone. I am soooooo done today.