My Kids Are Funny

"Mom! You know I hate to get dressed." -Ivan

"You're all confused what a balcony is Del." -Lincoln

"I bet the sun's glad it doesn't have to move around any planets." -Ivan 

"If I get cold I'll just wrap up in my blanket. I'm very fond of my blanket. If I ever lost it I'd want to get another one." -Lincoln

"Remember when I got expelled from Sunbeams and then I went to CTR4?" -Ivan 

Linc: "But Dad, have you ever stabbed someone?"

Me: "Lincoln!"

Linc: "what?! It was just a question."

"Mom, we have an Ollie situation here." -Ivan

"I'm sick of the word 'a' from now on I'm going to skip it." -Ivan

Me: "Del, time to use the potty?"

Del: "But why do I have to be a regular girl?"

Me: "Is a regular girl someone who uses the potty?"

Del: "Yes! And then regular girls just turn into bad guys....well, bad girls."

"Mom can I just pass over you?" -Adelia 

"Mom, I think I'm a rock lobster. You know, those lobsters that just run around in circles over the rocks?" -Lincoln

"Oh! I just shook out my leg. It was all tickley with cake crumbs inside!" -Adelia

"Mom, you're the best mom ever, can I touch your eyelashes?"-Adelia

"Mom! I can speak to the birds!" -Ivan 

"Mom, I always think that songs should end in deep sounds. Instead of high." -Lincoln

"Target! I LOVE Target *deep contented sigh* They always have such lovely things to look at there." -Adelia

"Mom, have you noticed that you're kind of starting to get a beard up here (running his finger along the top of my lip), because I can see a little brown there. Do women grow beards?" -Lincoln

Lincoln Liners and Some From the Other Two

"Mom, my crown is attacking me though." -Adelia

"I was just walking among all the juicy things." -Linc

"Mom, do you like my drawing? Well, if you want it to change your life you'll have to give me another sticky note. I'm making an experience." -Ivan

"Mom, I don't like bad guys. They don't bring me great pleasure." -Del

Linc: "Mom, you look good today. "
Me: "Thanks Linc."
Linc: "That's a nice thing for me to say hu? And even if someone doesn't really look good, I can still tell them they do to be nice, right?"

"...please bless me that if I catch a water snake at Bear Lake that I can be careful not to let it poop on me...amen." -Ivan

"I don't think my toes will do any harm. They're in my socks." -Linc

Del: "Mom, Daddy made me a fairy wand.  Are you ready to be proofed?"
Me: "Um, yes?"
Del:"POOF! You're a rabbit. A small rabbit."

"Mom, if God told you to sacrifice me, would you actually do it?" -Lincoln

Me: "Look, there's the missionaries! (riding their bikes down the road. ) Some day when you get big you'll be a missionary."
Ivan: "Do missionaries have kids?"
Me: "No. "
Ivan: "Then why would I ever want to be a missionary? When I grow up I want to be a construction worker."

"Probably when I'm 8, or 9, or 10 I'll be a lot more chatty and then I won't want to play as much." -Linc

"That's not glorious to me." -Linc

Linc: "Ivan do you now how far Balto had to travel? 200 miles!"
Ivan: "Whoa! I would starve to death waiting that long!"

Del, stirring her applesauce with her finger: "One day there was a princess named Galley and she was good."
Ivan: "Oh man! Are you playing family with your applesauce?"

"Daddy woke me up by curiosity when I was asleep. " -Del

Me: "What should we have for dinner Del?"
Del: " I don't know. "
Aaron: "What if we just have pretend dinner tonight?"
Del: "That would be useless."

Lincoln: "Mom! Oh no, Oliver is wearing a pink bib!"
Me: "It's ok Linc, a girl bib will catch the baby food just as well as a boy one ."
Linc: "I know, but girly things kind of make me uncomfortable."

"My tummy was NOT growling, it was just barking. " -Adelia

"Sometimes snakes are for dinner. " -Ivan

Linc: "What time is Clubs?"
Me: "1:30"
Linc: "Holy guacamole, that's cool!"